Quotes: Take the high road
To take the high road here is a deliberate choice between mirroring aggression and moving to a different posture: anger managed, patience, and compassion. Laozi, the Dalai Lama and Spinoza offer complementary angles—patience that lets harm pass, compassionate restraint that reduces others’ fury, and an analytic stance that seeks to understand human behavior rather than punish it.
The running question is both practical and ethical: is restraint weakness or strength? By responding with understanding instead of retaliation, you find out whether rising above is a path to peace or an exacting moral practice.
4 quotes on this theme, each with its source and insight
The quotes
“Anger cannot be overcome by anger. If a person shows anger to you, and you show anger in return, the result is a disaster. In contrast, if you control your anger and show its opposite—love, compassion, tolerance, and patience—then not only will you remain in peace, but the anger of others also will gradually diminish.”
Source: no specific work is documented · Check the source
Disputed attributionWhat we know
- What is documented
- The wording is widely attributed online to the 14th Dalai Lama, but no primary source (speech, book, or dated text) for this exact phrasing has been located.
- What remains uncertain
- Attribution is disputed: the exact passage lacks verifiable sourcing and reads like a modern paraphrase of older Buddhist teachings.
The line points out that meeting anger with anger fuels escalation rather than resolution. Commonly credited to the 14th Dalai Lama, it reflects a lived Buddhist ethic: regulate your response and apply patience and compassion so conflict can cool rather than flare.
“I have striven not to laugh at human actions, not to weep at them, nor to hate them, but to understand them.”
Source: Tractatus politicus, Introduction (1677) · Check the source
Verified attributionWhat we know
- What is documented
- The Latin formula appears in the Introduction to Spinoza’s Tractatus politicus and is presented there as his method of study.
- What remains uncertain
- Attribution to Spinoza is secure, but the line is often loosely translated and sometimes misassigned to other works.
Spinoza states a research method: suspend mockery, lament and hatred, and seek causal explanation for human acts. Phrased in the Introduction to the Tractatus politicus, it reflects his rationalist, deterministic approach to the passions.
“You can't change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it.”
Source: no specific work is documented · Check the source
Disputed attributionWhat we know
- What is documented
- The wording is widely reproduced under Nicky Gumbel’s name on quotation websites, but no authenticated sermon, book, or verified social-media post has been located.
- What remains uncertain
- Attribution is disputed: a Twitter post dated 11 March 2014 is cited in some datasets but has not been independently verified, and no earlier source has been established.
The line captures a simple power: you can’t control others, but you can control your response. It echoes ideas from Stoic practice and modern therapy that emphasize personal agency in how we interpret and react to events. Its brevity explains why it spreads as everyday advice.
“If someone has offended you, do not seek revenge. Sit by the river and soon you will see the body of your enemy float by.”
Source: Rising Sun, film, 1993 · Check the source
MisattributedWhat we know
- What is documented
- Research indicates the wording is absent from the Dao De Jing; the earliest documented use appears in the 1993 film Rising Sun.
- What remains uncertain
- The attribution to Laozi is disputed and likely apocryphal: the phrase resembles Daoist ideas but has no attested classical source and was popularized in modern media.
The river image teaches a clear tactic: patience and non‑escalation often undo an enemy more surely than revenge. It fits the Daoist spirit of soft strength—letting events run their course rather than attacking—and works as a practical rule for keeping composure when wronged.